Before you book anything, it helps to settle the questions that only the family can answer. Offices can explain what they do. Only you know who is in the house, who picks up the phone, and what the person you care for will accept.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Who is the first call
Name one person who is the first call when a helper is late, when a plan changes, or when the person you care for is upset at an odd hour. Write that name and a second name beneath it. Confirm that both people can be reached in the evening, not only during weekday office hours.
What the person you care for has been told
Decide, in plain words, what the person you care for has heard about the help. Some people have been told nothing. Others have been told the helper is a friend. Settle on one honest sentence and use it the same way each time.
Who has agreed to what
Write down what each relative has agreed to take on, in their own words, before the first visit. Vague agreements tend to fall apart at dusk, when everyone is tired. Keep the list short and specific.
Where the helper will be
Decide which rooms the helper will use and who will be home at the start of each visit. Write these down so the helper and the office are working from the same picture.
The late-night question
Ask yourself, honestly, what you would do in the small hours of the night if the plan broke. Who would you call? What would you need? If the honest answer is that you would not know, that is the first thing to settle, not the last.
For a closer look at how evenings usually run, see Evenings and Nights at Home.