Support planning is usually built around one person. In some homes, two people need help at the same time, such as a couple where each partner needs a different kind of daily support. The plan then has to cover both people without leaving either one, or the helper, stretched too thin.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Map the day for each person
Start with a simple grid. Write each person's name across the top and the hours of a normal day down the side. Mark when each person needs a hand, when they are steady on their own, and when they want privacy. You will often find that the two needs overlap in the morning and separate in the afternoon, or the reverse.
This map shows whether one helper can cover both people, whether two shorter visits would work better, or whether the family needs to add a second person for a few hours.
Sort the tasks by person
Make two short lists, one for each person, and a third list for shared tasks such as meals, laundry, and the front door. Shared tasks often fall to whoever is in the room, so decide ahead of time who owns them. A helper who is unsure whose task it is will tend to do the most urgent job rather than the most important one.
Keep two notebooks, or one with two sections
Each person should have their own routine, preferences, and calm-down habits written down. Keep the two sections clearly separated so a helper can find the right page quickly. If the two people sometimes disagree about the day, note that too, and write down what the family has found helps.
For the hours that tend to be hardest in any home, the page on Evenings and Nights at Home has practical ideas that also apply to couples.
Plan for the family's own load
When two people need help, the family often carries more than either of them realizes. Ask who will handle the phone calls, the scheduling, and the check-ins. Ask how the family will get a break, and who covers if one of the two people has a rough week or spends a few days away from home. A plan that works only when everything goes smoothly is not yet a plan.